eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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