I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
