Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
