My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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