That's intense
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think my vagina is haunted
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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