and i looked up. we had an audience...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
