You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
