see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wish there were birth control emojis
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
