grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
