no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
