p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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