This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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