Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
