so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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