imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
