If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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