Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
