some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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