He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
