we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
