there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
