Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
