Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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