i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
