They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
