You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
