I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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