Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
