The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
