i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
