Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
