Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
