we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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