she was so not down for the gang bang
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
