i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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