just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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