I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
