ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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