just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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