i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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