She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
