somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
