I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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