You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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