sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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