they need to just BURY HIM!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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