There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
