things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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