Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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