When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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